today was fairly unsuccessful.

yet again

Why am I constantly disappointed?  By myself, by friends, by family.  And no, I'm not being melodramatic.  You would be disappointed too.  Things just never go great for me - its always just alright.  I'm tired of just being ok.  But who am I to complain about being ok?

Nobody, that's who.

. . . 
G1

Tinkle Monster

In case you don't know, I work in an office. And in this office, I work with people who are considered professionals in this industry (and by that, I mean people who would probably be labeled upper-middle class - think white collared, business suited individuals). One would expect a basic level of cleanliness and courtesy while at work. Sure, there are people who have messy desks or leave crumbs all over the place... and sure, there are also those who leave their trash in the lunch room once in a while.

BUT recently there has been a TINKLER, who we have dubbed the bathroom bandit, or Ms. T. This dirty mofo has been using the [ladies] restroom and peeing ALL OVER the toilet seat. Now - I don't mean the little bit of "afterflush" that might appear on the seat after the flusher does its job - I mean it looks like some little boy has gone in there and not learned to lift the toilet seat - so he pees all over the place. This has been happening for a few months. Being [slightly!] OCD, this really disgusts me. Not that it wouldn't disgust me if I weren't OCD, but it definitely makes things worse. I decided to take matters into my own hands and posted these signs up on Monday:

Phase 1 in effect.

I didn't take this while sitting on the can, by the way. =D

Note the red used to highlight the toilet seat.

So I told a few coworkers about these signs and now we have formed an "informal" investigative group. Yes, there is an excel spreadsheet, and we have been reporting back to each other whenever we spot any of these... "cases."

So Monday was fine and dandy... could it really be??! Were the signs really working??! I was sadly quite happy about this (which goes to show you how pathetic my work life is, REALLY).

Then Tuesday rolled around. And then the TINKLER struck again!!!!!!!! What the HELL??!!! How does she sit/squat/whatever the hell she does without seeing the sign and then leave her freaking piss all over the damn place? This is really disgusting. I would take pictures, but I'll spare you the images. Also, being caught taking a picture of piss all over a toilet would raise some weird questions I'd rather not answer, haha.

I have a sneaking suspicion now re: who it is. But my team and I will have to do some more investigative work before confronting said person. If this continues onto next week, I may be forced to use a more aggressive tactic.

If you sprinkle
When you tinkle
Be sweet
Wipe the seat!

More updates coming soon.

hahahahaha

Tips and... other stuff

TIP
How to salvage a wet cell phone:

1. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TURN IT ON-this could end up short circuiting it, and then you're really screwed.
2. Remove the battery and wipe it dry-I've read that most batteries are constructed so that they are pretty water resistant (but not proof!)
3. Wipe off & shake as much water out of the cell phone as possible, then use low-level heat to dry the remaining drops of water inside the cell phone-I used a hairdryer on the lowest possible setting, but I've read a lot of sites that don't recommend doing this. If you're skeptical, skip straight to the next step.
4. Place the cell phone to dry for a day in a bowl of rice-yes that's right-rice! Uncooked rice can supposedly absorb moisture well, so turn the phone on its side and submerge it in some dry rice.

Only after you're pretty sure the phone is dry should you attempt to turn the phone back on.

OTHER STUFF

• I am totally not attending my high school reunion. Seeing only a few people and having them compare who has accomplished more in the past 8 years (ie - who has the bigger dick?) makes me want to hurl. I don't even remember who the hell you are, WHY are you bragging to me about what you've done and telling me that I should do what you've done with your so-called life? Ick ick ick.
• Birthday was fun - most people mistook the date & thought it'd be NEXT Friday instead of this past Friday and so it was a smaller crowd this year, which was PERFECT. I wasn't really feeling terribly social (as if that's different from normal??). Next weekend - bbq :)
• I have a new perspective on luck, but I will write about that next time. TIME TO SLEEP. :)

tumor free

n.l.

So I've decided I should try really hard to stop being so damn cynical (note the TRY). We'll see how this goes. So far this week, I've managed to hold comments in about 4 times, but have blurted unhelpful, not so nice things/points-of-views out about 100 times. Eek - at least that's some progression, though. Baby steps! I am forever eating my words and am quite positive that karma is working its hand nicely (which means I am getting what I deserve).

In the health world, I've lost about 6 pounds in the past 2-3 months - not sure if this is a good thing or not - simply by not overeating or consuming things like CCF. Have also started and stopped an extremely light workout regime including playing with the Wii Fit or spending at least 30 minutes on my new elliptical machine (er, with part of that 30 minutes used to also fix said elliptical machine). Sadly, I have not continued since my return from Hawai'i a few weeks ago, but I WILL start again soon!

Also awaiting results from B - will take 2 weeks, let's hope it's nothing serious! Getting old sucks.

Am dreading upcoming birthday, where I will officially be heading towards my LATE twenties. Not looking forward to it in the least.

Also am delaying the acceptance that I probably will never be able to head out of here. Must keep up hope and search!

                     a l i e n a t i o n

She
      Was
             Right

Lie lie lie!

"Never Lie, Steal, Cheat, or Drink. but If You Must Lie, Lie in the Arms of the One You Love. If You Must Steal, Steal Away from Bad Company. If You Must Cheat, Cheat Death. and If You Must Drink, Drink in the Moments That Take Your Breath Away."

It's quite the sweet quote - but do I believe and attempt to abide by it? Well, I'd like to say I do, but then I'd be lying... again. Of course, I don't have the best moral compass, so to speak, but what do YOU think? Is it okay to lie? Or should we always tell the truth? And if it is, indeed, okay to lie, when is it "okay" and when is it not? Does lying make you any less of a person?

Personally (oh yes, here we go again! weee!), I think it's perfectly okay to lie, as long as your lying does not hurt another, put someone else in a bad situation or create unfair disadvantages for other parties. What does this mean exactly? Well... if I lied to you and said I ate dinner with an old friend when in reality, I sat my fat lazy ass at home watching tv (and there are no other parts to this story, ie - you hadn't invited me out to dinner, and were simply making conversation, etc.), well.. then.. who really cares? I'm not disadvantaging anyone, all parties are happy (except maybe I would have a problem with lying to myself, but that begets a variety of other issues), and we all go on with our lives.

If, on the other hand, I lied to you and said I ate dinner with an old friend when in reality, I stayed home and watched tv on my fat ass because you had invited me out, but I was too chickenshit to just say no - and I hated your guts. What's wrong here? I lied so that I wouldn't hurt your feelings and come as the bad guy right? But meanwhile, this person is TRICKED! Tricked into thinking he/she is my good ol' buddy when in reality, I have no intention of ever willingly accepting an invitation to hang out. So this psuedo-buddy has NO IDEA and really, will probably ask you to hang out again - and that's not fair. I'm not providing any terrific solutions here, but firmly and politely declining the invite would probably work pretty well.

Thinking back over the past few years, there are tons of times where I've flat out lied. In fact, I'm probably lying right now. Or maybe I'm just lying to myself. I just don't know it yet.

Ah... issues. I'm tired. What the hell did I just write about? Oh yes, don't cheat. Cheaters never REALLY prosper.

Y'know what'd be nice though? If you could lie like these guys =)

Statistically Challenged?

“The Lottery is a tax on the statistically-challenged.”

It’s a quote we hear often – so what are the actual numbers? According to the California Superlotto playslip, the odds of matching all six numbers (5 of 5 and the MEGA number) are 1:41,416,353. In percentage terms, that’s 0.0000024%. People often say that you have a greater chance of getting struck by lightening than you do of winning the lottery. So why bother wasting your $1? You must be stupid, right? By that inference, only stupid people buy lottery tickets.

Tell that to Jeff and Sandy Carl. Or maybe to Todd Bablinskas. Boy are they glad they paid their taxes! The other day, I overheard a couple of my coworkers talking about this tax on stupid people. My ears immediately perked up, because hey, it’s the lottery! These are the same people who pay $50/month to park in our building, when they can pay $25/month to park across the street – a mere 3 minute walk – for the “convenience.” In one year, that adds up to a $300 difference. Let’s say there are 22 working days a month. So I’m saving about $1.14 per day by taking 3 minutes to walk my ass across the street. We can be extreme here and say I purchase 2 lottery tickets every week. That comes out to $104 a year. So net-net, by merely walking 3 minutes extra everyday, I save $196 AND I get two chances every week to win at least 7 million bucks. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a pretty good deal. You could say that these coworkers of mine are paying a different kind of tax… a tax on the lazy. Suckers.

I half-jokingly tell people my goal in life is to win the lottery. All other sub-goals follow from this main goal. Sometimes people agree they have similar aims, laugh about it, or ask what else I want to accomplish. The response I absolutely HATE, and I mean HATE, is when they tell me, “Oh, you don’t want that.”

I DON’T???!! Who DOESN’T want to win millions of dollars? These HATERS then go on to say that I don’t want to deal with the problems that come with such big winnings.

Hrm, I think I’ll take my chances and give myself the benefit of the doubt that I can handle such a large influx of money. And if they’re right, and I wasn’t able to handle myself - which I highly doubt, if you know my track record with finances - then it sure was a life experience wasn’t it? Would I even go as far as to accuse these HATERS of being satisfied with mediocrity? Why yes, I think I will. ACCUSE! *


*if you don't get the sarcasm in my posts, you probably shouldn't be reading =)