Statistically Challenged?

“The Lottery is a tax on the statistically-challenged.”

It’s a quote we hear often – so what are the actual numbers? According to the California Superlotto playslip, the odds of matching all six numbers (5 of 5 and the MEGA number) are 1:41,416,353. In percentage terms, that’s 0.0000024%. People often say that you have a greater chance of getting struck by lightening than you do of winning the lottery. So why bother wasting your $1? You must be stupid, right? By that inference, only stupid people buy lottery tickets.

Tell that to Jeff and Sandy Carl. Or maybe to Todd Bablinskas. Boy are they glad they paid their taxes! The other day, I overheard a couple of my coworkers talking about this tax on stupid people. My ears immediately perked up, because hey, it’s the lottery! These are the same people who pay $50/month to park in our building, when they can pay $25/month to park across the street – a mere 3 minute walk – for the “convenience.” In one year, that adds up to a $300 difference. Let’s say there are 22 working days a month. So I’m saving about $1.14 per day by taking 3 minutes to walk my ass across the street. We can be extreme here and say I purchase 2 lottery tickets every week. That comes out to $104 a year. So net-net, by merely walking 3 minutes extra everyday, I save $196 AND I get two chances every week to win at least 7 million bucks. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a pretty good deal. You could say that these coworkers of mine are paying a different kind of tax… a tax on the lazy. Suckers.

I half-jokingly tell people my goal in life is to win the lottery. All other sub-goals follow from this main goal. Sometimes people agree they have similar aims, laugh about it, or ask what else I want to accomplish. The response I absolutely HATE, and I mean HATE, is when they tell me, “Oh, you don’t want that.”

I DON’T???!! Who DOESN’T want to win millions of dollars? These HATERS then go on to say that I don’t want to deal with the problems that come with such big winnings.

Hrm, I think I’ll take my chances and give myself the benefit of the doubt that I can handle such a large influx of money. And if they’re right, and I wasn’t able to handle myself - which I highly doubt, if you know my track record with finances - then it sure was a life experience wasn’t it? Would I even go as far as to accuse these HATERS of being satisfied with mediocrity? Why yes, I think I will. ACCUSE! *


*if you don't get the sarcasm in my posts, you probably shouldn't be reading =)